As I Live

As I live, I know the day will come—
She will say, “Dost thou still retain thy integrity?”
And when she does, should I take the advice that follows?
I guess that’s the question, right?
Is love worth it? Happiness in gold-illum’d light
When for an infinite moment you love her
and she loves you
and the whole world seems right, and good, and the
Possibility of the future seems both safe and grand—
The sort of life
Promised at the end of fairy tales.
But then, who still says “…and they lived happily ever after.”
Unless they’ve steeled themselves with the vulgar irony of this low age.
Oh yeah, everybody’s a fucking comedian.
Aren’t you?
Aren’t I?
But regarding her—
Well, that’s something different.
Now there, God help me, there is something worth living for.
Let the sniggering cynics laugh and make their cracks,
But I will love her, with all of my heart, forever.
My Lord, who sustains the world, keep me steadfast to my pledge,
And all the world will fall to dust before I fail.

ahd, 2006